Hello, all...

I hope you're all joining me in boycotting the Academy Awards broadcast tonight for their failure to recognize JENNIFER'S BODY for raising the bar in cinematic excellence. Time will be on my side with that one, trust me...

I like to imagine you going about your day, living your normal life, doing normal human things, and then getting this e-mail and thinking, "Hey, there won't be anything surprising about this? And then you read the e-mail and WHAM WHAM WHAM
IT'S A SNEAK ATTACK SALE! Today, 2/28/10, from 4-6pm, things are 25% off. I'm talking everything, gang. So pick up the peices of your shattered life and drop by for some hard core savings. TODAY ONLY. 4-6PM. Don't come in here at either 3:59 or 6:01 thinking we'll have sympathy for you, because we won't.

A quickie newsletter this week-- it's gorgeous out there! For the first time in forever! Who wants to get stuck writing newsletters, regardless of how insightful and entertaining?

PREORDER! Hey, subscribers-- please get your preorder requests in to us by week's end
on the current order catalog. There's a ridiculous amount of exciting product in there, like BRIGHTEST DAY and FLASH and WILSON and WEATHERCRAFT and BODYWORLD and SHIELD!

NEXT WEEK! There's a new VA Comicon coming 'round the bend. Go to http://www.vacomicon.com/ for details.

I wanted to begin this by wishing you all a happy Valentines Day, but then I was like, "Isn't Valentines day just some holiday dreamed up by greeting card companies in order to get people to wish one another things?" They really expect us to spend an entire day letting our loved one know that we appreciate them? That's the biggest load of bull since Thanksgiving, if you ask me.

FIRST: Home alone today, fending off loneliness by staring at your computer screen? Why not direct your attention to our newest CHEAT SHEET! It's one of the best ever, featuring such books as:

Hello, folks--

Right out of the gate I'd like to thank all the folks who braved the elements and made it out to our AFRODISIAC book release party. By all accounts everyone had a dang good time. And a hearty congratulations to JULIA SCOTT, who won the DRAW! AFRODISIAC VS ?? art contest!

BY THE WAY-- We are OPEN. And well continue to have normal business hours regardless of whatever weathering might happen. Brave the tundra and come see us!

AVENGE! Have you been following this? http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=article&id=24726

HEY EVERYONE: The first thing you need to know is that VELOCITY COMICS IS OPEN RIGHT NOW, 2:36pm, Sunday the 31st. Snow be darned. So come by and we'll have a rap about how we drive better in and are more prepared for snow than other people. It's all the ding-dong rage.

HELLO. Until recently my family and I lived in luxury as the royal family of a small Mediterranean country. The opulence of our palace was matched only by the decadence within which we wallowed. In the morning we feasted on ostrich eggs and threw diamonds in the garbage, in the evenings we lit our cigars with sticks of dynamite and laughed as they exploded in our hands. Many of us were killed, the lucky were just maimed. Whether or not I'm typing this with a pencil clutched in my teeth is none of your concern. Are you jealous?

HELLO. Until recently my family and I lived in luxury as the royal family of a small Mediterranean country. The opulence of our palace was matched only by the decadence within which we wallowed. In the morning we feasted on ostrich eggs and threw diamonds in the garbage, in the evenings we lit our cigars with sticks of dynamite and laughed as they exploded in our hands. Many of us were killed, the lucky were just maimed. Whether or not I'm typing this with a pencil clutched in my teeth is none of your concern. Are you jealous?

Hey guys and guysettes, welcome to the NEWS. Let's see what's going on, and try to act surprised, okay?

Sorry if I seem a little harried this week, gang. Long story short, I'm dealing with some pretty dire personal issues right now. But let's not get into that. Let's just focus on the NEWS...