HELLO. Until recently my family and I lived in luxury as the royal family of a small Mediterranean country. The opulence of our palace was matched only by the decadence within which we wallowed. In the morning we feasted on ostrich eggs and threw diamonds in the garbage, in the evenings we lit our cigars with sticks of dynamite and laughed as they exploded in our hands. Many of us were killed, the lucky were just maimed. Whether or not I'm typing this with a pencil clutched in my teeth is none of your concern. Are you jealous? Don't be. Or be a little. But take solace in the exciting events listed below, the likes of which I cannot attend, as a life of extreme wealth has left me with a life-threatening allergy to synthetic fabrics and axe body spray.

FIRST THING: A special VELOCITY COMICS WELCOME TO THE PLANET EARTH to MAX BAUSCH, the brand new baby son of Velocity co-owner Jesse and his wife Donna. Please join me in congratulating the proud parents, and working to make the world a little bit less of a terrible place for Max to grow up in.

SECOND: If you forget for so much as a single moment that Jim Rugg is gonna be here on Feb. 5th to celebrate the release of his new book, AFRODISIAC, you're in big trouble. The event starts at 6pm. And as if Mr. Rugg's time isn't already frittering away enough of his precious time, he's graciously agreed to host our latest DRAW CONTEST. It's called AFRODISIAC VERSUS ??? I put the ??? there to signify that the person he's fighting can be anyone. Anyone you can imagine. Draw that bad boy boxing your pappy for all I care, just do a good job, because the winner is going to go home with both a SIGNED DELUXE EDITION COPY OF THE BOOK as well as A SMALL BOAT LOADED WITH STORE CREDIT.

AND NOW, HERE'S A LIST OF ALL THE STUFF COMING OUT ON WEDNESDAY. YOU'LL SEE THAT I HAVE ALSO TAKEN THE TIME TO CRAFT LITTLE COMMENTS ON SOME OF THE BOOKS THAT I THINK LOOK PARTICULARLY INTERESTING. BUT DON'T LET THIS BECOME A THING WHERE I'M BEING PUSHY. YOU LIKE THE STUFF YOU LIKE, AND I THINK THAT'S GREAT. IF ANYTHING, LET THE ITEMS I'VE HIGHLIGHTED SERVE AS A GUIDE TO WHAT MIGHT BE WORTH CHECKING OUT IF YOU'RE CURIOUS ABOUT TRYING NEW THINGS.

ALIAS ULTIMATE COLLECTION TP BOOK 02 34.99
AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #619 GNTLT 2.99
ARCHIE #605 2.50
ASTRO CITY THE DARK AGE BOOK FOUR #1 (OF 4) 3.99
ATOM AND HAWKMAN #46 (BLACKEST NIGHT) 2.99
AVENGERS INITIATIVE #32 SIEGE 2.99

BATMAN AND ROBIN #7 2.99 -- Grant Morrison's SEAGUY collaborator CAMERON STEWART leaps into action as penciler for this arc! Rejoice!

BATMAN AND ROBIN #7 VAR ED 2.99
BATMAN UNDER THE COWL TP 17.99
BILLY BATSON AND THE MAGIC OF SHAZAM #12 2.50
BLACK LANTERN SYMBOL II T/S XL 17.95
BLACK TERROR #7 3.50
BLACKEST NIGHT #1 (OF 8) VAR SKETCH ED 3.99
BLACKEST NIGHT JSA #2 (OF 3) 2.99
BUCK ROGERS #8 3.50

CAPTAIN AMERICA REBORN #6 (OF 6) 3.99 -- Gee, man, I dunno...do you think they're really gonna bring him back?

CARS TP VOL 02 RADIATOR SPRINGS 9.99
CHEW #8 (MR) 2.99
COMPLETE ALICE IN WONDERLAND #2 (OF 4) 4.99
COMPLETE WORLD WAR ROBOT HC 29.99
DAREDEVIL #504 2.99
DARK REIGN HAWKEYE #5 (OF 5) DKR 3.99
DEATHLOK #3 (OF 7) 3.99
DETECTIVE COMICS #861 3.99
DIE HARD YEAR ONE #5 3.99
DIRTY DISHES GN (MR) 14.95
DO ANDROIDS DREAM OF ELECTRIC SHEEP #8 (OF 24) 3.99
DONALD DUCK AND FRIENDS #350 2.99
DR WHO MAGAZINE #416 (NOTE PRICE) 10.00

FALL OF HULKS RED HULK #1 (OF 4) FOH 3.99 -- Fall of the Hulks falls further. Look out.

FAMOUS MONSTER MOVIE ART OF BASIL GOGOS SC NEW PTG 24.95
FANTASTIC FOUR #575 2.99
FARSCAPE ONGOING #3 3.99
FIRST BORN BROKEN TRINITY DELUXE HC 100.00
FRANK FRAZETTAS DARK KINGDOM #4 (OF 4) FRAZETTA CV 3.99
FUTURAMA COMICS #47 2.99
GFT PRESENTS NEVERLAND #0 (OF 6) 1.99
GI JOE COBRA II #1 3.99
GOTHAM CITY SIRENS #8 2.99

GREEN LANTERN #50 (BLACKEST NIGHT) (NOTE PRICE) 3.99 -- Milestone 50th issue! Doesn't that sound like something you might want to read?

GUARDIANS OF GALAXY #22 2.99
HALO BLOOD LINE #2 (OF 5) (MR) 3.99
HANK KETCHAMS COMPLETE DENNIS THE MENACE 1961-1962 24.99
HOTWIRE GN VOL 03 22.99
HOUSE OF MYSTERY TP VOL 03 THE SPACE BETWEEN (MR) 14.99
INCREDIBLES TP VOL 01 CITY OF INCREDIBLES 9.99
IRON MAN VS WHIPLASH #3 (OF 4) 3.99
IRREDEEMABLE #10 3.99
JACK OF FABLES #42 (MR) 2.99
JUSTICE LEAGUE CRY FOR JUSTICE #6 (OF 7) 3.99

JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #41 CVR A 3.99 -- Another new era begins here! With a huge and actually pretty neat line-up and presumably an all new direction that's sure to BLOW YOU AWAY.

JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #41 CVR B 3.99
JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA #35 2.99
JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA STRANGE ADVENTURES TP 14.99

KICK ASS #8 (MR) 2.99 -- Do my eyes deceive me? Can it be possible? There was a time when I would have bet big money that this issue wouldn't drop until the already completed movie arrived in theaters. Yet here it is, with the movie still months away. I don't even know for sure if I'll read it. I might just buy a copy and keep in hidden under my pillow, just comforted by the knowledge that it's there. Or maybe I will read it. I guess what I'm saying is, I haven't decided yet.

KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #158 4.99
LOSERS VOLUME 1 AND 2 TP (MR) 19.99
MADAME XANADU #19 (MR) 2.99
MARVEL ADVENTURES SPIDER-MAN #59 2.99
MARVEL ADVENTURES SPIDER-MAN AND AVENGERS TP DIGES 9.99
MARVEL PREVIEWS FEBRUARY 2010 EXTRAS (NET) 1.25
MARVELOUS LAND OF OZ #3 (OF 8) 3.99
MMW FANTASTIC FOUR TP VOL 03 24.99
MS MARVEL #49 2.99
NEW AVENGERS #61 SIEGE 3.99
NORTHLANDERS #24 (MR) 2.99
OFFICIAL INDEX TO MARVEL UNIVERSE #13 3.99
OLYMPIANS GN VOL 01 ZEUS KING OF THE GODS 9.99
PILOT SEASON DEMONIC #1 2.99
PREDATOR #4 (OF 4) 3.50
PREVIEWS #257 FEBRUARY 2010 4.50
PUNISHER #13 2.99
RASL #6 (MR) 3.50
RESURRECTION VOL 2 #7 3.99
ROBOCOP #1 (MR) 3.50
SECRET WARRIORS #12 2.99
SIEGE STORMING ASGARD HEROES AND VILLAINS 3.99
SKY PIRATES OF NEO TERRA #5 (OF 5) 2.99
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG ARCHIVES TP VOL 12 7.95
SPIDER-MAN CLONE SAGA #5 (OF 6) 3.99
STAR TREK TNG GHOSTS #3 3.99
STAR WARS LEGACY #44 MONSTER PT 2 (OF 4) 2.99
SUPERGIRL #49 2.99
SUPERMAN #696 2.99

SUPERMAN SECRET ORIGIN #4 (OF 6) 3.99 -- This book is so good.

SWORD #21 (MR) 2.99
TALES OF THE GREEN LANTERN CORPS VOL 02 19.99
TAROT WITCH OF THE BLACK ROSE #60 (MR) 2.95
TEEN TITANS #79 3.99
TERRY MOORES ECHO #19 3.50
THOR #606 2.99
TRANSFORMERS LAST STAND O/T WRECKERS #1 3.99

ULTIMATE COMICS ENEMY #1 (OF 4) 3.99 -- What is the Ultimate comics enemy? I think it's either critical reading skills or a healthy emotional life. But it's probably Dr. Doom or something.

UNKNOWN DEVIL MADE FLESH #4 3.99
UNKNOWN SOLDIER #16 (MR) 2.99
VICTORIAN UNDEAD #3 (OF 6) 2.99
WALKING DEAD #69 (MR) 2.99
WALL-E #2 2.99
WEB #5 3.99
WILDCATS #19 2.99
WILDCATS FAMILY SECRETS TP 17.99
WITCHBLADE #134 SEJIC CVR A 2.99
WIZARD MAGAZINE #222 MARVEL SIEGE CVR 5.99
WOLVERINE ORIGINS #44 2.99
WOLVERINE WENDIGO #1 3.99
WONDER WOMAN #40 2.99
WORLDS FINEST #4 (OF 4) CVR A 2.99
WORLDS FINEST #4 (OF 4) CVR B 2.99
X-BABIES #4 (OF 4) 3.99
X-FACTOR #201 2.99
X-FORCE #23 XN 2.99
X-MEN FOREVER #16 3.99
X-MEN LEGACY #232 XN 2.99
ZOMBIES THAT ATE THE WORLD #8 (OF 8) (MR) 3.99

Stop me from pouring this on myself...
Tom Batten