Velocity Comics is excited, yes I dare say excited, to announce that we will be moving up and out and across the street on November 1st! That's right, we'll be shifting business a mere stone's throw away (unless you're Patrick Buhse, who could never throw a stone that far) into the storefront formerly known as Steady Flow Clothing Inc next to the barbershop across the street. The plan is for service here at the current store to go uninterrupted until the end of the month, and then open up in the new place on November 1st. Let's get excited! It's a whole new era!

FIRST: Let's begin by sending a huge Velocity-style congratulations to JONNY BROOKS, who followed in the footsteps of Reed Richards, Black Bolt, and Clark Kent by getting married on Saturday. Jonny's the big tattoo-ed dude, if you see him, say Congratulations or something. Don't be rude.

SECOND: This Wednesday at 4pm, Velocity Comics will be hosting a coming-out party for THE GREAT RICHMOND ZOMBIE BOOK! We'll have books, authors, and snacks on hand for you to poke and prod, so come on out and help us celebrate. You like Zombies, I know you do. See? I listen.

Holler, gang! Hope everyone out there is having a simply fantastic day, filled with unsuspected happiness and a sense that all is well in the world. If this is not the kind of day you are having, what's your problem? Everyone else is having a nice time, why are you so determined to be a grumpus?

Since the beginning of time men and women have struggled to attain a greater understanding of Wonder Woman and her costume. In ancient Greece, poets composed great odes that took days to recite. In 1930's Berlin, leftist journalists wrote and distributed long jazz-inspired leaflets in the streets. Three hundred years from now, there will be a soft drink made with a powerful psychedelic agent that will allow its consumers to hallucinate that they are, in fact, Wonder Woman, thereby rendering whatever clothes they happen to be wearing as Wonder Woman's new costume.

Hello, all…

Tom Batten could not write the newsletter this week because he's being fitted for a pregnancy simulation suit he is wearing to commemorate Labor Day. Said he just wants to understand. I think he's very brave, and a bit of a pioneer. Anyway, here's what's going on with comics, Velocity Comics, and YOU:

BIG LABOR DAY SALE! Big in savings, but small in duration. We are opening up at 9AM, closing at 1PM. You like to get stuff way cheaper than you have any right to, right? Well check out what we're doing:
*from 9am to 10am Velocity merchandise is a whopping 30% off!

Hey there cats and kittens but let's face it, mostly cats--it's time for more comics related news!

THIS WEDNESDAY, ONLY AT VELOCITY COMICS: The good folks behind COMICALITY, VCU's certified official comics magazine/anthology, will be on hand to celebrate the release of their latest issue. Expect the unexpected, then come to terms with it, then have it surprise you all over again in a new and exciting way. Rumor has it there will be pizza. We can only hope it's of a decent quality.

Hey y'all--it is with a heavy heart that I announce the winner of our latest DRAW CONTEST. Not heavy because I'm sad this person won, heavy because years of drug and alcohol abuse have caused my heart to swell with blockages due to cholesterol build-up and damaged valves. It's like a bloody melon straining to escape my chest! Seriously, I'm out of breath right now just from typing.